When you write fiction, you need dialog. Dialog adds meat and interest to your stories. Your characters come alive when they speak. But the question is, what dialog to leave in and what dialog to leave out. Starting a conversation with, “How are you?” bores the reader and doesn’t engage the character. When a character speaks, he’s either telling another character something, or asking for information. But you can cut dialog like, “Hello. How are you today? “ Boring.
The best way to get dialog, is to listen. Elmore Leonard was a keen listener. He was known as the “Dickens of Detroit”. I always carry a notebook with me. When I hear something interesting, I write it down. During a trip to Baton Rouge, Louisiana, I had breakfast in a place called “Louies Cafe”, which is close to LSU. The chef, a guy know as “Frenchy” rambles on in a Jack Kerouac stream of consciousness. His dialog is colorful and witty. While cooking eggs, he said, “Pavlovian primates waiting for maturation of the egg.”
Frenchy the Chef
Authors in my writing group, tell me I write good dialog. My protagonist is a PI named Yale Larsson. He talks in short, staccato sentences. Just the facts, ma’am. His cohort in crime, half-brother and gourmet cook has different speaking characteristics. When you write a scene with many characters speaking, it’s important to identify a character by his speech. The eliminates the need for “he said”, or “she said” after every sentence. You can also differentiate between character, by having on do something before the dialog such as:
She furrowed her forehead. “I can’t condone that, young man.”
Here a snippet of dialog from my upcoming novel, “A Pocketful of Euros.”
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Blind Melon strummed the last chords of the song and placed Sweet Melissa in her case. A couple of people dropped coins in his singing bowl.
“Song was great, but Sweet Melissa sounded out of sorts,” I said.
Handed him the box that was delivered yesterday. He broke it open and smiled.
“Strings.”
“As promised. Six sets. Should last you a while. ”
Blind Melon tipped his Pork-Pie Hat. “Thank you, my friend.”
“Blind Melon, got a list of local kids from an Internet Social Media website. Wonder if you can identify them for me.”
“Okay.”
I read the list to Blind Melon. He knew five of the families.
To find out more about Yale Larsson scan the following QR code with your phone to see my Yale Larsson Private Investigator novels at Amazon.
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